This is a reflection piece by Residential Life Marcom Intern – Ranita Ramesh. She was tagged to the Humans of UTR page from February to July 2018.
I’ve always liked having people around me. When I go to sleep at night, the muffled sounds of people chattering and giggling is akin to being embraced by a warm blanket on a frosty winter night. It makes me feel safe.
I had never been on my own before. Back in India, I had always been living in the comfort of my parents’ haven. This included my sister’s constant annoying presence (well to be honest I annoy her more) and my unconditionally loving dog as my pillow of support (he’s a pug). Naturally, moving to Singapore and living on my own in the quiet solitude of my room was quite a difficult change for me. Singapore, however, unlike most countries is densely populated. There is no dearth of people. That was a blessing for me. Having gotten into a PhD programme, I continued ‘Student Life’ at a luxurious hostel by any standard – University Town, better known as UTown Residence (UTR). It’s definitely a beautiful place for those who haven’t visited. I would consider myself spoilt to ever complain about the place.
However, doing a PhD can get difficult. We are living in a hostel at the end of the day. Flatmates keep changing. People move on to other places. Friends are temporary, and are swallowed by their own priorities. Change is constant. Despite being surrounded by people, you can be engulfed by loneliness. Water, water everywhere, not a drop to drink. People don’t voluntarily smile at each other, nor do they voluntarily talk to each other.
But then I started to notice something. Everyone wants company, but is too hesitant to reach out. We all live in the thoughts of others. What would they think? Am I disturbing them? Do they want to be on their own? I was one of those people. I would only consider someone’s smile as permission to initiate a conversation. Although I had my set of friends, I found it increasingly difficult to make new ones. At one point I thought I’ve become too old to make any friends. 😛
It was one of those gloomy days that I got an email from the Office of Student Affairs (OSA) about the possibility of writing for Humans of UTR. I always loved using Facebook and social media for connecting with people. I wouldn’t say I was adept at writing but I’d always loved trying my hand at poetry and short stories. But more than anything – and I’m being blatantly honest here – this was the perfect excuse to talk to people. If I took up this opportunity, I could meet new people, talk about an eclectic range of topics, and learn about different cultures and perspectives.
But those are just superficial things. The most profound yet simple learning I had from this experience was this. People want to be heard. When you meet someone over coffee, it’s more likely that you talk about food, common interests, or maybe a conference that you intend on going to. Conversations have become shallow and somehow artificial. However, interviewing people through Humans of UTR was different. To be honest, I personally don’t prefer calling it an interview. It’s more like starting a car engine that hasn’t been driven for a long time. You need to warm it up a little bit to kick start it. I didn’t take interviews. All I did was kick start an engine that had been quiet for a long time. Unspoken thoughts that are deep within start resurfacing. Everyone just needs someone to lend an ear.
And trust me, it was a two-way street.
Initially I thought that the story would be a reflection of the person being featured on Facebook. There isn’t a single person I spoke to that I was not able to relate to. We are all humans, and we all experience the exact same emotions, manifested in different ways. It’s extremely comforting to know that there are other people who have felt what you have felt. This reflection of my journey with Humans of UTR over the past few months is an ever growing jigsaw puzzle where each piece was placed from my neighbors’ reflections of their own lives. And now I know, as I move on from this chapter, the puzzle will only get bigger by collecting more pieces, painting a beautiful picture that represents all Humans of the World.
