Panda (Porn)

Panda Lovin’ (Photo by Sam Knight)

The Giant Panda (Ailuropoda Melanoleuca) is a bear native to central-western and south-western China. Its distinctive black patches around its eyes are what coined the term ‘panda eyes’, for one’s dark eye rings, something us students have no problems in relating to.Despite the fact that pandas are carnivorous, the Giant Panda’s diet is 99% bamboo.

Pandas are notoriously reserved about sex, and repeated encouragements for them to mate (in captivity) have proved to be fertile futile. Giant Pandas have low to no sexual desires, especially so for those in captivity. In fact, more than 60% of adult male Giant Pandas in captivity lack any sexual desire, and only 10% of them are capable of natural mating, with only 30% of that latter producing ‘results’ (in the form of baby pandas of course). Giant Pandas reach sexual maturity between the ages of 4 and 8, and may be reproductive until they’re 20. Hence, when they’re around the age of 6, after a dash of inspiration from the people at the China Giant Panda Breeding and Research Centre in Wolong, the Pandas are shown a primetime movie to get their loins a’stirring – a video of 2 Giant Pandas mating. This’arouses the sexual instincts of giant pandas, enhances their natural mating ability, and raises their reproductive capacity’ – in other words, these films are, well, porn.

These films have proved to be successful, so far – after a long degree in how to impregnate a fellow panda, Ximeng in Wolong put his new found knowledge into good use and is now a father. Other Pandas who have been educated are also now showing signs of a higher libido and sexual desire.

This unorthodox method (in most cases, artificial insemination is used to impregnate various animals in captivity. For example, lions and polar bears in the Singapore Zoo) has proved to be successful thus far. After a long degree in how to impregnate a fellow panda, Ximeng in Wolong has put his new found knowledge to good use and is now a father.Other Pandas who have been educated this way are now also showing signs of a heightened libido and sexual desire. In 2006, it even sparked a baby boom of Pandas in Chang Mai, Thailand.

While for fellow human beings, where pornography is often frowned upon (for obvious reasons – being extremely disrespectful to the sexes and sometimes, even used as blackmail), Panda pornography has been effective in raising the productivity capability of these endangered species.

Go Pandas!


“Panda porn to cure bedtime blues”, 27 June 2002.

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“Porn sparks panda baby boom in China” by Denis D. Gray.  msnbc, 27 November 2006.

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“Giant Panda” by wikipedia.

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“Prim pandas probed by peeping satellites” by Sam Knight and agencies. Times online, 27 September 2005.

URL: (accessed on 5 April 2010)