Stupid

I felt many emotions while listening to my interviewee recount tale after tale of evil employees. I felt shock. I felt disgust. I felt angry. I felt sad. But as she ran through the sordid details of how an employer raped her, I just felt stupid. I felt stupid not being there to pull that bastard off her. I felt stupid that my country would allow such assholes to run free. I felt stupid that the authorities were working so slowly and ineffectually. I felt stupid that after all this, all she wanted was to work so she could send money home to pay for father’s medical bills, and I had no way to help her. I felt so stupid that no matter how much sympathy or pity or fury I felt, all I could do was hear her out. All I could was pull horrified or sad faces as the tears rolled down her face. I couldn’t even bring myself to ask her stupid questions like, “What does health mean to you?”

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